On the Semicolon Epitaph

"Empire Records"

I’ve always liked the teen-angst film “Empire Records.”  Though low-rated on the film channels, it’s got a lot of the issues associated with teenage turmoil:  Music fanaticism, celebrity crushes, jailbait (big time), rebellion, financial cluelessness, unrequited love, low self-esteem, grown-up manager still a teenager at heart, and magic brownies.

One of my favorite scenes is the fake-suicide attempt by the troubled Deb, with the others around, talking about her like she’s dead.  My fake-funeral:

I’m going to miss her; she was a nice virtual friend.  Smile

She was a good writer too.  Her books were good.  Smile.  Aww!

Well, for a new author, a pretty good writer.  I mean, not a “good writer” like George R. R. Martin.  She didn’t describe roasted swans garnished with berries, served with sweet red wine and lemon cakes.  That’s OK.  I’ll leave the food descriptions to Mr. Martin.

She didn’t write about gratuitous sex.  If Shevata got laid, it would help her attitude immensely.  Oh, God….I think I’m really dying now.

Shevata was a good kick-butt; she was a bitch.  Smile.

I think Shevata was mean to the vampires.  A “Twilight” fan.  OK.

I didn’t read her books because I don’t like reading about demons.  Thank you for being a non-audience reader and not reading my books.

The formatting of her books is strange to me.  Ah, an editor.  I never know what that means.

But what’s going to happen to Shevata now?  I think she and Zermon will fall in love and get married.  WHAT?  (High decibels in my mind).

Her blog was good, except that stupid article called “Time” using the Pink Floyd “Dark Side of the Moon” album cover.  She took it down, thank goodness.  OK.  I deserve that.

I don’t like her book reviews.  What’s the deal, a five-sentence paragraph?  Grr..I probably reviewed one of your books.

Why is everything so dark? I mean, that’s kind of weird.  “Heart of Darkness,” “The Dark Knight,” she was into dark.  I think she was a little crazy.  Aww, that’s so sweet!  (teardrop!)

Why did she always bring up her vast hard science educational background?  Like we care or something?  Point taken.

I think she was a big a film addict as a book addict.  Aww.  They know me.

Since she was so educated, she could have learned basic punctuation.  I’ve never seen so many semicolons in my life.  Grr!  (I sit up)  “That’s it!  Say what you want about my books, my blog, my reviews, my weirdness, but when it comes to my semicolons, store the attitude!” (I stomp away)

Stupid funeral.