The Compassionate Savage

A bit of fiction fun as our favorite Assling visits the Underworld.

Uhtread "The Last Kingdom"

 

Shevata gazed at the balrog with disgust as he sat on Zermon’s obsidian throne in Hell.  “Memdrigog, you know only two can sit this throne; Zermon, who is out terrorizing his realm, and me.  Get out of here.”

The balrog snapped his whip towards Shevata narrowly missing her ear.  She grabbed it’s end, snatching it hard, and with some effort, wrenched it from his grasp.  He growled.  She removed a white ball of light from her pocket and threw it at him; sparks like lightning flew all around him while he shrieked in pain.  She whipped him over and over until he left the throne and drove him to a nearby small pit.  “Jump in, Stupid!”  She threw another white ball at him.  When he shrieked in pain again, she whipped him a couple of more times and pushed him into the pit, filled with the lightning.  She moved a large flat obsidian disc to seal it. 

She looked at the surrounding demons, now silent.  “Have any of you got anything to say?  Good.”  Keeping the whip, she sat on the throne with weariness.  “Who’s next?” 

“Savages.”  Muttered a demon, handing her two scrolls.  A man and a woman were brought before her.  The woman was shouting demands to release her.  Shevata slammed the whip to her mouth, nearly severing her tongue. 

“Shut up, woman.  Where do you think you are, Valhalla?”  She opened her scroll.  “A savage, traveling through villages killing men, women and children just to steal.  No retraction of any deeds, no offering to anyone.”  She nodded to the demon.  “Throw her in.  I’m not into loud mouth savage women today.”    The man beside her watched in horror as the demons in the fire pit dragged her down. 

“Relax,” Shevata read the scroll closer.  “You’re a volunteer?”   The man nodded.   She turned to the demon, "Bring this idiot to my office.  And if Memdrigog escapes, if you don’t tell me, I’ll tell Zermon you were in his chair.” 

Shevata and the man sat in her office, him across from her in the chair.  She unrolled his scroll.  “Assling?  I’ve never met a savage named Assling.”

He smiled.  “That’s a nickname.  My name is Uhtred.”

“Well, Assling, who is Uhtred, you’re not supposed to be here.  Did you know the woman I cast away to the pits?”

“Yes, I did.  But I know I couldn’t save her.” 

“Who are you trying to save?” 

“A woman, called a pagans witch.  Her name is Iseult.  Is she here?” 

Shevata thought for a moment.  “No, I would’ve remembered such an unusual name.  But I’m familiar with your world and your time.”  She sifted through some scrolls and opened one.  “You served a King named Alfred?”

He looked shocked.  “Alfred would never be here.”

She smiled.  “No, his soul is quite pure.  He came to me for knowledge.  Many wise men do.”

“Did he learn anything from here?”

Shevata grinned.  “Did you?”   

He shrugged.  "I don't know."   

“Alfred learned that evil isn’t simple.  But faith is.  We get people of all shapes and sizes down here, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense, the things they do.  Men like Alfred are born once in a century in the most fortunate worlds.”

“So Iseualt has a soul?”  Shevata shrugged. 

“I don’t know because I don’t know her.  But if she was the kind of woman you were willing to give your soul up for, I’d guess she does.”  She handed him a gem that glittered in rainbow colors.  “This will guide you out of Hell.  Best to you, Assling.”  He nodded then left.