On Jailbait, Dragons, and Pantyhose

 

While risking my blog following by posting another article about my past life as a role-playing gamer, the story behind it is a little more than the mere meeting of awkward kids at college that weren’t at frat parties. 

My introduction to role-playing games was early in high school, a time I call my “jailbait dating days.”  Before I’m written off as an early starting wild-child hear (read) me out.  From the third grade, I was sentenced to a lifetime of nerdom due to incurable nearsightedness with one sure thing:  nobody would ever ask a girl out that wore glasses.  Then my life changed at age thirteen.

I broke my glasses. 

Then enter the new me with contacts!  Not exactly “The Princess Diaries” (are you kidding? I wish!), but it put me in the lower-tier of the “pretty girls” at school by age fourteen.  This gave way to several problems:  I looked a bit older to some than I really was and the older guys weren’t smart enough to ask my age.  Before writing my Mom off as reckless by allowing me to date at such a young age, she knew me well enough and I was always home by ten, and usually took my own car.

So one night, on a typical double date, one of my loser eighteen-year-old boyfriends stood me up.  What an outrage!  And the reason?  Playing a role-playing game?  Out of the question!  I answered by releasing the air out of a tire and tying pantyhose around the antenna of his car.  I got home to my Mom on the telephone reassuring the guy’s father there’s no way I’d do such a thing.  (Whew!)

A couple of years pass, and loser boyfriend goes to college where my brother already is enrolled and works in the dorm.  I tell him my stupid ex will be there and make sure he can find his way in and out the door.  Which is exactly how they met.

Ex shows up on college break at a fast food place where I worked with great news:  My brother has become interested in his game!  What!  All I remember is chasing him with a shower of ice and fries. 

I end up at the same college, re-break up with the ex, and join my brother in the game.  We had a lot of fun.  But rules were nobody could ask me out without asking my brother.  To me, it was moot, as any friend of his was un-cool, and totally ancient.

Years later, I showed up for a guest appearance with a new group.  My brother and I had a yelling argument about who-knows-what before I sat down to start.  (Those of us with siblings understand our arguments have no audience).  Afterward, I asked him who the cute guy was.   Over two decades later, I no longer play role-playing games, but I know all too well where the cute guy is.   We had dinner out tonight and celebrate our wedding anniversary soon.

So my dark fantasy journey began from childhood fascination with monsters, medieval role playing games, jailbait dating, and pantyhose.